Neighbourhood watch. 5/19/2007
I recently changed neighbourhoods. This is stressful event #2. Stressful event #1 is referred to here.
I walked out this morning, to grab the morning papers. I live in a sort of middle-upper class place, quiet, mainly older couples with grown up kids. I must be the neighbourhood aberration. When I moved in 3 weeks ago, there was a bit of a sensation amongst the kids in the area when the bikes were being off loaded the transport lorry. And also resulted in all the middle aged men in the neighbourhood sauntering by and giving me a welcome to the neighbourhood, when in reality, what they wanted was a closer look at the machines, and wondering if bikers were going to take over the place, shoot their wives and rape their dogs. Wait, that doesn’t sound right.
Anyway, I stood in my driveway, holding the papers in my hand, when I saw the old couple living across the street from me walk out. They must have been in their sixties. The old man got into his 1980’s S class Mercedes, which is parked by the curb everyday. He sits there for a moment, grumping. His wife comes scurrying out a few seconds later, carrying a 500 ml bottle of water. I can see him looking at her with impatience. She goes around to the front of the Mercedes, and starts clearing dead leaves and other debris from the hood. Then she goes to the front, and pops the hood of this S class Mercedes.
Now, I don’t know how well you may know S-class Panzers, but their hoods are not light. They may be balanced to open with one hand lifting it, but it still takes a fair amount of effort. And if you’re a 5 foot nothing old chinese lady, it really takes a lot of effort. She gets the hood up with some grunting, and then opens up the radiator. She pours the contents of the bottle into the radiator. Whilst all this is happening, I can see the old man sitting behind the wheel, tapping his fingers in impatience.
Some of my female readers will be clucking their tongues at the chauvinism of this man. Wait till you read about what happened next. As the old lady was screwing the cap of the radiator back on, she noticed some fallen leaves had gotten under the hood, blocking the fresh air intakes on the firewall. So she comes around the car, motioning to the old man to wait a moment, while she cleared out the debris.
What happened next made me laugh, although it was rather mean of me to do so. As she was leaned over inside the engine bay, trying to clear the leaves, the old man lost his patience, and started up the engine. This startled the old lady. She raised her head up in shock, and whacked her head on the underside of the hood. She stood up, rubbing her head in pain, and started shouting expletives at the old man. The old man started shouting back at her, and motioning for her to close to the hood and get into the car.
I looked on in some amusement, especially when the old lady flung the water bottle at the windscreen of the car, and stormed off back into the house.
- Posted in : General
- Author : thesnark
Comments»
“bikers were going to take over the place, shoot their wives and rape their dogs”
I knew you were to going to invite me over sooner or later! So you heard the rumours….I misconstrued the word “bitch”…
PS - you may wish to remove the link to “Intensecure” - He has removed himself from the system, and terminally deleted himself. However as you can see he has resurrected himself as the grown-up, true heathen that is ME. But I wanna play with your toys, and I’m a well spoken, middle class kind of chap, really.
Hi, I just started to read your blogs last night while doing some random surfing… I liked reading your blogs and would definitely love to read more about you…
Mmm. Absence explained, you were moving.
Alright, how many bikes do you have dude?
And here I was thinking that the stressful events were getting married and having a vasectomy. Moving is nothing.
lol I feel sorry for the little old lady … but, if you marry them, you gotta put up with them till either they die or the divorce comes through.
Grant : You do what you gotta do. As long as I still can get (free?) coffee at the cafe.
Howie : Welcome to Hunting the Snark and thank you.
Dr Tan : According to the various vehicle registration cards that are sitting in files at home, I don’t actually own any motorcycles. Or trucks. Or any other cars, supercars and lawnmowers.
chewy : Well, there are certainly more stressful events, but moving house in my current situation is no joke, trust me on that one.
Dabido : From what I gather, the old man is the Mr Wilson of this particular neighbourhood. Now to find out who Dennis the Menace is and encourage the little terror.
Dude, merc owner the same chap with the BMW E34? I saw one in a house across from yours the other night.
You get your next free coffee, when I get to see the Silver Lady
Hahaha… which neighborhood you moved to?
I would have thought the old lady will show him the middle finger!
Cool!
LOL, that’s a good way to start the morning.
hah, so buaya bike has a new shade now? hehehe, reason for me to bring my 18yo highlander *hic!*
bikerwannabe : Not sure. If it’s the one directly opposite, then yes.
Grant : Deal.
Dangerous Variable : You think I’m going to tell where I stay issit?
KY : Nothing starts the morning better than getting a blowjob.
Buaya69. So when we going riding huh?
what a jerk!!! if I were the old woman, I would go in, get the stupid chopper off the kitchen drawer and cut off…all the cables inside the hood of the car! S class my ass!
Marsha : The old woman had a very resigned look on her face. I think the 2 of them would have a really interesting story to tell me about their lives, if I were the kind of person to go and be a nosy parker.
Surely you’re not telling us you’re not nosey enough…? Not even just a little bit? Are you sure?
Welcome back, Snark. And a fine read, yet again.